Fabulous Muscles

I just made a sarcastic facebook status update about jesus dying for my sins and SOMEONE THOUGHT I WAS SERIOUS AND THEY REPLIED SERIOUSLY.

Life is great.

Things I am thankful for/happy about:
>EXCELLENT SEX. In all caps.
>the greatest, most understanding/challenging/engaging/fun/hilarious/adorable/etc. significant other on the planet.
>the freedom to go to school full time next semester
>the five awesome classes I'm enrolled in next semester
>Sporadic, head-clearing AIM conversations
>LOLing profusely with Adam's ex-girlfriend last night
>learning I'm not half-bad at drawing with pen and/or charcoal and/or pencil
>learning to use photoshop in an eight-hour marathon session
>THE END OF THIS SEMESTER
>having a roommate who doesn't mind if I hide christmas presents in his closet, or go in his room when he's not home to steal cd's and rip them onto my computer
>having my brother home from school for two weeks (although I wish it were longer!)
>CHRISTMAS PARTIES, FROM WHICH I CAN GAIN RIDICULOUS AMOUNTS OF FREE FOOD.
>having kept my unstable, boring, soul-crushing (but relatively well-paying) job for a year and a half without being laid off for more than a week. knocking on wood now.
>WOOL.
>micron pens
>singing again
>JAEGER BOMBS

As of today, I, Cora Rose Gaulin, will cease to diddle aimlessly on the internet. I will no longer spend hour upon hour reading Weekend Web, nor will I religiously follow upwards of twelve knitting blogs. I will be checking my personal email ONE TIME PER DAY, and other than that, I will only use the internet for academic research and to take part in my online English class. This diet will proceed for an initial period of not less than two (2) weeks, and then dependent on the results thereof, will continue indefinitely.

THUS: If you want to reach me, email me @ cora.rose@gmail.com. If you want to reach me right away, call me @ 413.433.7701.

TO PRODUCTIVITY!

This very well may be the last snow day of the year, and goddamn it, we're going to it 'er dun!!!!!!!!!!

The year of chicks making out, walking dogs, Adam making funny hand gestures, and hatred (but in a nice way).

IT IS TEN FORTY FOUR IN THE MORNING! DO YOU KNOW WHERE YOUR CHILDREN ARE?!?!?!?!?!

WE'RE IN YOUR SUGARLOAF, PWNING YOUR INTARNETZ

ADAM 'N' CORA 'N' ANDY ARE MOVING TO SUGARLOAF ESTATES IN SUNDERLAND.
NEXT SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER FIRST, TWO-THOUSAND AND SEVEN.

If you would like to help them, they would be forever grateful, and would never again make fun of you behind your back. And maybe we'll get a pizza or something.

X-posted to all my internet hidey-holes.

MY CHARACTER IS LANKY

which if you were wondering, is not some little-known village of Amherst. Our potential landlord turned out to be a barely-legitimate money-grubber who wanted to charge three people $1400 rent for an apartment he was advertising for $1000 for two people. So we went ahead and signed a lease at a reeeeaaaalllllyyyy cheesy complex in Sunderland that also happens to be DIRT-ASS CHEAP (like, we're talking $1000 a month for up to four people, which includes EVERYTHING. Like, cable-and-a-gym-menbership everything), so everything is under control. Move-in is slated for September first.

To Amherst! In 28 days!

And I got a Singer from 1924 for ten dollars at a flea market!

I am in a lovely mood: bring on the girly sleepovers! (Do you guys realize this will be my LAST sleepover in my parents' house, forever? Does that sound like a challenge to anyone else?)

...to pick up my new 4-harness, 22" floor loom, which was GIFTED TO ME. For those of you who are unfamiliar with looms (...), floor looms generally cost at least one $1,000. Which, last time I checked, is $930 more than the cost of lunch for me and the gifter, as well as gas to get to Dover, NH. Which leads me to my new revelation: HOLY MOTHER I HATE DRIVING A BIG TRUCK. Here, for you consideration, is an itemized list of the horrible things that happened to me whilst driving the truck yesterday:

- I ran over a turtle (although, I suppose technically, this happened to the turtle, not me). Had I been in my own tiny car, I'm sure I would have been at the correct vantage point to tell that what I was about to hit was a turtle and not a piece of unidentifiable junk, and also would have had the braking power to stop before I heard its horrifying death-crunch.

- I spent FIFTY FUCKING DOLLARS on gas.

- The windshield had become almost completely obscured with bug guts over the course of the day, so I stopped at a gas station, not to get gas for the fourth time (!), but to wash the windshield. Of course, I stand at around 5'2", so I had to hop up on the front tires to reach the middle. So I'm hopping up on the tire, and off pops the bottom button of my dress. Now, mind you, by "bottom button," I am reffering to what was presently the bottom button on the dress. I had gotten the dress at the Salvy's, and was already missing its rightful bottom button. So anyway, I popped the second button up, which would have been no big deal for a seamstress extraordinaire like myself, except that the button disappeared into thin air. I looked everywhere for that damn button; I even moved the truck to the next pump so i could have a better look at the ground underneath. GONE. So not only did I have to go to class looking like a freaking hoochie, but now I have to replace all the buttons on the dress, unless I can find the same ones. You know, it's a tough life.

So, in conclusion, I am never driving a truck again. Unless someone gives me a bigger loom.

I have two finals today and Adam is grumping because as of this moment, I only have Sundays off all summer, due to me working and taking summer classes. This is a Bad Thing, because he doesn't, and can't have Sundays off. However, I have Mondays, Tuesdays, and Wednesdays off until six, which is when my classes start. So to make a long story short, GRRAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH.

Internalized angst: the other white meat.

...and someone totally just farted out in the hall. Unrestrained, full-bodied farting.

Yes! Time for another sporadic insight into the life of Cora.

As per usual, I should be working on a paper right now, but I left the assignment sheet...somewhere that is not here. Probably at Adam's. "So, what is Cora up to?" you may find yourself asking. Apart from sneezing and growing my hair out, I'm finishing my first year at GCC, only to be plunged into summer classes with no break. Geology first session and Western Lit second session, to be exact. Am I insane? Perhaps.

Adam and I have been presented with a possible living space that would be so intensely awesome that I don't even want to blog about it out of fear that I may jinx us. I am now furiously knocking on wood to further prevent jinxation for simply thinking about blogging about it. Of course if that does fall through (knocking on wood again), we'll most likely end up at Cliffside or Squire Village. Hi, Sunderlandians.

Oh, I don't remember if I ever bothered to mention this (in my infinite humility), but I totally got straight A's last semester. If I did, in fact remember to mention it already, consider this a further "na-na-na-na-boo-boo." In any case, I brought it up because I just may be continuing the streak. (Watch Cora counting her chickens before they've hatched.)

Hmm. I dunno. I'm getting a new tattoo next week, if that counts as news. Ok, I got nothin'. Over and out.

Stick a fork in me, cause I am diggity-done.

A page and a half to go. Yes, I am dilly-dallying.

I am two-and-a-half pages away from the end of this semester! I don't want to hear any "Oh! I finished last week!" or "I got out two weeks ago!" Because I already read all your gloating blog entries, you blood-sucking hogs.

In other news, I still have to finish my Christmas shopping. And decide what I am going to do tonight when I'm done bragging about how AWESOME MY FINAL PAPER IS.

In other other news, I think I have three A's. And one B.

Okay fine, I should be writing a paper right now.

But it's only a two-page paper, so ha! I will answer the burning question that I know has been...burning. That question being, "Where the hell have I been and what the hell have I been doing?" I have been writing lots of papers. That, and discovering that I can knit and read a foreign policy textbook at the same time. But more specifically, I have been Going Back to School. Yes! Back to school! I am no longer a hapless, uneducated scumbag! I am officially a member of the Greenfield Community College Business Management Transfer Option Program (or GCCBMTOP, for short). On a serious note: Say what you will about community colleges, but the caliber of coursework I am doing there is most definitely more in-depth than at Westfield State (yes, the ivy-league university). In any case, I'll be done with the program next spring, and then go for two years at UMASS, and then I can finally realize my goals of becoming the CEO of a major corporation. Just kidding. I'll probably get a really boring job and save up a bunch of boring money so I can open The Coolest Craft Supply Store/Art Gallery/Antique Shop/Activist Haven in the World.

Adam and I are probably going to omg finally move out of our parents' houses?! move to Holyoke, or Easthampton, or somewhere cheapy-cheapy next fall, so we can both stop spending ninety-seven million dollars a week on gas, because that is a bummer. Until then, you can blame us for the fact that nobody gives a crap about alternative fuel, because we are singlehandedly (doublehandedly?) supporting the entire petroleum industry.

Um, what else? Mostly, I can't wait until I finish all my semester work so I can spin a crapload of yarn. And dust off my poor, neglected sewing machine. I have to cut this entry short now, so I can go masturbate to the thought of handiwork.

Perhaps it's to be blamed on chronic anxiety, but my boyfriend of a year and four months is coming over and I have stomach butterflies about it. How cute!